My First Try

After the not-so-good results of the product training last week, I rested for two day but with endless questions and doubts embraced by fear. I didn't know what to expect, how to do it and if I could survive.

I was at my lowest point; couldn't concentrate. I was so irrational, declaring my weaknesses as I pinned myself down.

I waited for my turn to take in calls. I was out of the office, Friday and Saturday (Manila time) but the tension on how to let time pass by was my greatest ordeal. I knew my weaknesses but I couldn't mention any strength that I had with pride. I had no one to talk to; they were all busy and unavailable. Most of my friends were no longer in the office. Fher was out of the dorm for some reason I didn't know of. Thanks to Janice who taught me some tips on call flows and different scenarios. Still, I wasn't prepared.

I buddy-up with my teammates. They were good - kind to the newbie, that was me. They assisted me for me to get used to the team and the work. After lunch, Alou, our TL told me, "After lunch, you'll start to take some calls."

It was insane. I was a bit eager to start. But what should I do if I have no idea on how to assist the callers? Communication skills and spontaneity wasn't my problem. What to tell the caller was my problem! Ina, a Senior CSR in our team coached me as I answered my first call. I can no longer remember the scenario. But as far as I can remember, I did good with the opening spiel but I messed up with my other spiels as I instructed the caller with his account. After that, I messed up again, gesturing Ina that I need her to feed me answers to the caller's questions. For my first shift on the floor, I had seven calls. I was tough but again I doubted myself.

On the second day, we had system outages and we couldn't make modification on their accounts. So we had countless irate callers, questioning us about the system issue. (Sighs) I personally enjoyed it. I had nothing to do but to tell them about the system outage spiel. Hahaha!

The next day was one of my darkest days. I got pissed of my schedule and hated my work. I was looking for satisfaction and fulfillment that I didn't find in the four corners of my station. The tick-tack of the clock was so annoying. If only I could only push the time to hit 11 o'clock, I would! Then I thought of giving up, leaving everything behind me and start anew once and for all. Taking in calls was tough brought about by the lack of product knowledge. It was hell to be dumb and idiot of the system. I felt like I was the most stupid of all new CSRs. I cursed that day until my family lightened my darkened eyesight and showered me the optimism that was emptied by fear, disappointment and anger.

My teammates also encouraged me to be tough and to take the calls without any pressure. I thank them as well. My TL talked to me about my performance. She said she'd help me learn more things about the system and that I'd get used to the work. I won't forget what she told me and I'd like to quote her, "Don't take it against yourself." Every mistake that I take is just a part of my learning experience.

I can't say that I've finally found happiness in this craft. But I'm certain that 'God moves in mysterious ways', may it be with the way people think, the way people see things or the way things happen. It's how He makes things happen.

For this, I seek for God's blessings for me not to be irate to myself, not to pressure myself, not to blame myself for my mistakes (is that possible) and just to always be optimistic! I thank my family and my friends (my lil bro) for they were there during my toughest moments as I struggled to find resolution to my crisis - My Discombobulating Ordeal.

So help me God. ¿?