Optimum Satisfaction

Happiness is everyone's goal. No matter who you are, you still aim for that top-most reward of your life. Day by day, we deal with life as we make our way to find the simplest yet remarkable happiness to keep us motivated and willed.

However, the downside of life is that it isn't perfect. Perhaps, it is planed to be imperfect for it not to be monotonous - the twist and turns that makes us confused, makes us upset yet points out an important lesson.

I'm not a guru with life. I'm a twenty-something and my experiences are just embryo compared to my 92-year-old grandmother. That's the reason why I probe myself, analyze my thoughts and struggle to understand my own life.

For the past days and weeks, I found my happiness with the people around me. It only proves that I'm dependent on how people treat me and how the circumstances fit it to my life knowing that I have people around me to listen to my cries and help me understand the oddity life offers me. What matters most is that I have everyone - my family, my friends and my own self who could listen to my difficulties, my insights, my anger and most of all my hunt for a resolution to my anxieties.

I'm not strong enough to do things on my own. I seek for help. And if that's the way for me to understand life's lecture to an immature embryo like me, I'd be willing to listen and learn once more.

For now, I may be happy to be with my people but some circumstances make it so difficult for me to keep the optimism burning in my soul! These circumstances just keep me insane and pulls my motivation from soaring high. Thus, I pity myself. Though times come my way. Learning is measure of perseverance and determination. However, my skirmish today is like a ton-full of excess baggage. I feel so alone; no one to listen, no one to understand.

I drove myself to office this morning, turned on the radio looking for some mushy songs. Suddenly I felt like I lost something; the one I value the most. Others may be apathetic with my concerns, I understand. Even though I try to understand, the sadness I felt is still in me - unresolved. And yes, I felt the same way when I was there on the floor, no one to talk to, no one to share my burden. I just wish I already now what to do. I can't stop blaming myself for the mistakes I commit! I may be making things so difficult for me. I'm just clueless as to how to do things the most intelligent way. Irrationality may be my twin brother; not so healthy!

With all these ranting, I still pursue to be happy. Sadness may envelope my day but I pray to God to help me understand and cope with the situation. Thank you for being there always! ¿?