A few days ago, I was so bothered that my bithday won't be a happy birthday for me again. Once again, I was so aggitated to face my days thinking that I do not deserve to be happy for my birthday.
This started years ago when I was still in high school. It seemed like I was jinxed on a yearly basis and unfortunately "bad luck" spotted me on or before my birthday. How can I celebrate this day if the one thing all I ask is forbidden by circumstance? Coincidence or is it just fate?
I experienced this bothersome problem with myself this week. My mind worked this way:
! Everybody insists that you're not good.
! Everybody points out only your mistakes and shortcommings.
! You have a lot of things to do.
! You have commited a lot of mistakes.
! You're so bad.
! You're a pain in the ass.
! You're not a good friend.
! You're not loved that's why everybody's running away from you.
It was tough. I wished I could be somebody else.
On my birthday, I wish nothing but happiness and it is not equated with money. I just wish others to come back and show up. Allow me to reunite my past with the lonesome today because my days were brighter before. Moving on may not be as easy an 1-2-3. But at least, I'll try to be strong. And if I have a wish now that I'll be 21 tomorrow, I wish to be happy. And I'll strive to be happy.
I pray to find my way there and be the one I want to become. ¿?
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Posted by Evan Derkacz at 11:06 AM on September 3, 2005. And you won't believe who's lobbying for them.
this is the best that I have ever seen! I am never going back to the old way.
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